1
Q: Why do couples hold hands during weddings?
A: It is just a formality. Like "2 boxers", they shake hands before the fight begins.
2
Pulis: Bakit mo inihagis ang bata sa bintana?
Yaya: Sinunod ko lang po ang utos ng amo ko. Sabi po ng amo ko, 'wala na tayong Pampers, i- Huggies mo na lang si baby.
3
Q: What is the most impressive example of Tolerance?
A: Ah! Golden Wedding Anniversary!
4
Applicants
2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo
Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?
Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa Sex, sure.
5
Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
Student: wrote... "My God! I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is?"
6
Sensitive Child
1st day in school...
Mom to Teacher: "Very sensitive po ang anak ko.
Kung kailangan nyo po parusahan,
Sampalin nyo na lang po ang katabi nya.
matatakot na 'yan!"
7
Love and Marriage Cycle
1-2 yrs : magkasalo sa plato
3-5 yrs : tig-isang plato
5-7 yrs : nagbabatuhan na ng plato
8-10 yrs : wala na silang plato
That is what we call PLATOnic love!
8
Man : I want to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in 6 months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to find!
9
Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by "A B C D E F "?
A - almost gone
B - barelly noticeable
C - comfortable
D - damn good
E - exremely big and
F - Fake
10
Learning French
City - ce vou
Drug - sha vou
Goodbye - va vou
Bald - cal vou
Caught in the act - navo cou
Feathers - valahi vou
Not clear - mala vou
Cute - a cou
11
Chalk
Amo: 'Day, ang chalk na ito para mamatay ang ipis. Gamitin mo sa pader.
Maid: Opo, ati.
Next day .......
Nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader...
"Epes mamatay kayong lahat!"
12
Katapusan
Lumindol ng malakas noon....
Nagkagulo and lahat at nag-panic.
Sumigaw ang isang lalake..
"Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
Sumagot ang isa pang lalake..
"Tanga, a kinse pa lang."
